Being creative: missing the magic

When I was younger, I used to carry a notebook with me wherever I went. Shopping centres, supermarkets, the dentist or my weekly ballet class; no matter what the occasion, odds are I would have been clutching a notebook close to my chest. And probably a couple of scented gel pens - remember those?!

I would treat this book like a prized possession - and by 'book', I mean 'books', plural. I had stacks and stacks of them. Filled with absolutely everything and anything. Ideas, drawings, poems, lists, and perhaps most importantly of all, stories. To me, back then, stories were everything. I'd spend car rides watching the hills, streetlamps and bus stops streak past, telling my parents how fairies might be flitting between them. I'd dream of ways to describe the colour of the evening light streaming into my bedroom, and the patterns it made on my ceiling. For every fleeting moment of magic, I had to get it down on paper, because at the time, that's what those words truly felt like: magic. 

I know what you're thinking - why on earth has she gone off on this somewhat nostalgic/self indulgent tangent?

Because I miss it. I miss the feeling of being creative, just for me. Not to post on my timeline or share on my stories, but just because I want to. Writing was always incredibly personal for me, something I did for myself without the pressure of wondering what anyone else would think. When my last job relied on my ability to string sentences together, some of that magic got lost.

Over the weekend, I took these photos after watching a Tiktok tutorial on photography 'hacks' - I feel like the oldest person in the world typing that sentence, believe me.  I've been binging Hollywood on Netflix, and I'd just gotten a little carried away in the wonder and cinematic glamour of the show. Whilst the #BTS did not reflect this - phone torch and toilet roll holder anyone - I really had the best time creating something simply for the joy of creation. It just happened to be a bit of a fluke that I didn't hate the way they turned out.

If you take away anything from this, remember that productivity has multiple definitions, depending on what you're hoping to "produce". Whether that's a 10,000 page novel or photos that you took in your bathroom, taking that time to do something for yourself can often be much more rewarding in the long run.

Do you ever create things just for yourself?

Stay safe,

xxx