Be yourself.
Those two words seem to be the single piece of advice
that can be applied to just about any dilemma:
Relationship troubles? Be yourself.
Trying to get on your manager's good side? Always offer
to make tea, but most importantly, be yourself.
Struggling what to go as for Halloween this year? (One
would hope the answer here would be with a hint of sarcasm.)
Anyway, you get the gist. So what is it that's so
appealing about this little phrase, and why do we so often see it as
one-stop-fix-all solution for making problems disappear?
To quote Chandler Bing, "I'm not so great at the
advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
Ultimately, telling someone to be themselves in the way
they respond to a situation puts the decision back into their hands. Whilst
it's usually said with the very best of intentions, and whole lot of trust in
what that response will be, 'be yourself' is basically another way of saying
'you know what to do.'
With this in mind, it's almost ironic to think that a
phrase so closely linked with one's own authenticity is actually even more
closely linked with choice. The choice of how we respond to everything and
anything, every single day.
Is this a problem? Before I fall even deeper into an existential crisis, I think one thing is worth pointing out; we're far from two-dimensional. Whilst it's easy to be under the impression that your feelings need to fit into a nice little box with sharp corners and straight edges, so rarely is that the case.
The same goes for ourselves. We are ultimately collections of all the thoughts, feelings and experiences we've ever known, and with each issue we face, this collection continues to grow. All of the poorly worded texts, the misconstrued sentiments and the mixed messages are there to equip us, so next time, we'll know what to do.
And that's what being yourself is. It's less about second
guessing and doubting every decision you make, and more about having faith in
what your past has told you. It's got you this far.
