Well. This is, weird?
I currently feel
like I'm living in a parallel universe, a video game, or an episode of Black
Mirror - one which I haven't watched until the end just yet. It's a stranger than strange time which few of
us have experienced anything remotely similar to before, and that makes it that so much more confusing to deal with.
I have to admit that self-isolation isn't something
that's totally out of comfort zone. From the outside looking in, I would say I'm
a fairly introverted person who is more than happy to binge Netflix and a
bottle of wine. When plans are cancelled, I silently rejoice. However, what I had never really realised before - until about a week
ago - is just how much I rely on those small moments of human interaction to get me through the day.
A little bit of back story. So for the last year or so, I
have been working in London whilst living solo. In a nutshell, it's been great
- I get to enjoy the buzz of working centrally in a big city whilst having the
luxury of peace and quiet at the end of each day. I can't put into words how
grateful I am to be able to live by myself - as you're probably aware, real
estate is somewhat at a premium in the capital. Or anywhere for that matter.
Anyway, given the current circumstances, three weeks ago our office was
instructed to work from home. Which, at first, I
thought 'OK cool'. I can avoid a crowded commute, I don't have to pay over £5 for a mediocre sandwich, I can have an extra hour asleep.
One week goes by and suddenly, I realise, all may not be
as rosy as I first thought. My daily
routine was slipping. The peace and quiet had become overwhelming. I felt my
work self and actual self had begun to merge (I was dreaming about emails.) I
tried to push on but every day looking in the mirror was like staring at a
slightly more unravelled version of myself. One that the morning trips to
Sainsbury's (god bless those veteran sales assistants), could not seek to cure.
Rumours of a London lockdown prompted my colleagues - who are all living with
flatmates or family - to encourage me to head back up North.
So after a bit of deliberation and a bout of confused packing, I made my way to an eerily quiet Euston station and hopped on the 11.07 train back up north. And all in all, so far so good. Whilst my family maybe wouldn't be my first choice of flatmates, they're still pretty high up on the list. Plus, the dogs. I mean need I say more?
For me, the most difficult thing with this situation is
the 'not knowing.' The uncertainty and the unpredictability. The need to know
everything and the desperation to know nothing. Feeling a total lack of control
over the structure of my day-to-day life, and having a lot of time to be inside my own head without distraction - two things I have actually really
struggled with. Of course, I recognise I am in a HUGE position of privilege -
being able to work from home without the threat of my job being lost. Having a
roof over my head and a landlord who wouldn't threaten to evict me if I needed
to defer paying rent. But that loss of control is something that so many of us seem to be
experiencing, and if nothing else, is the root of that washing machine type
feeling in the pit of my stomach.
So what can we do to overcome it? Whilst there is of
course no 'one quick fix' to coping with something like this, there are steps we can take to adapt to this temporary way of life. The first
being exactly that; remembering that this is temporary. We will come out the other
side and it will be great.
Take time to take care of yourself, and see it as an opportunity
to focus on you, without feeling that creeping guilt of not being productive.
It's completely fine to just read a book you want to read, bake a cake for one,
or just sit and do absolutely nothing. So
many of us are in the same boat.
Finally, I would say that if you can, keep in contact
with those around you, and not just via text. It's crazy how much of a
difference hearing someone's voice can actually make, and whilst I would
usually 100% be a text > call girl any day of the week, now is the time to
mix things up.
Talking about mixing things up, it looks like I've gone a
bit wild and written a fairly lengthy blog post. Are people still reading
blogs? Anyway, if not, I've certainly found it therapeutic.
Given that I do have slightly more time on my hands than
usual, I was thinking about going back to my roots and sharing my outfit posts
on here. If you are interested, my latest looks are over on my Lookbook page. I guess it's the perfect time to experiment
with my wardrobe and dig out some long forgotten bits - it's weird how much you miss dressing up and
getting ready to go out when you no longer have the option to do so.
However, as you will have heard a million times already,
staying home is the best thing to do for now, just as much as not
hoarding all of the cereal/soup/toilet paper. Wash your hands, look after each
other and stay safe.
You can find the latest guidance about protecting yourself by visiting the World Health Organisation website.
You can read an informative and interactive article about the importance of self-isolation on the Washington Post.
Photos are by the fab @kymagination_
x
