Remembering to look after yourself

 OK, so it really shouldn't take #WorldMentalHealthDay to prompt me to write a post about mental health but here we are.

This is something which is particularly difficult to write about, for most people I imagine, as it's something that so many of us keep close to our chest. Whilst now, *thankfully*, it is gradually being spoken about more on a general level, it's still rare to hear about the individual experiences of people who have struggled, or who are still struggling. And that is the key; being aware that those struggles are not black and white. There is no set start and end time. Even where there are periods of miraculously impossible happiness, that darkness has a tendency to wait in the wings, ready to eclipse the light. 

Darkness is how I describe these periods, predominantly because it's an easy way of encompassing an impossibly complex feeling, which I would never, ever be able to describe. Like wading through treacle and being stuck in a long forgotten memory, like being underwater and forgetting how to swim, like remembering part of a dream and for some reason, you can't quite open your eyes.  Maybe it's  even more of a shadow, drifting in and out of focus, completely dependent on the time of day, the year and the weather. In short, impossible to predict. 

I don't think sharing all of my own struggles is something that I'm quite ready to do just yet. This is  mainly because I haven't quite faced up to them myself, which is, in of itself, part of the problem. With every passing storm comes an overwhelming sense of guilt. What have I got to feel sad about?

This is why we need to talk about it. Mental health is something that applies to everyone. It's like muscle health or bone health or fingernail health; just because it's not visible, doesn't mean it should take a back seat. If it's not something that's taken care of, the effects can be incredibly damaging, harmful, and very, very visible. 

Whilst I'm prone to self-deprecation and use humour as a handy defence mechanism, it's important to acknowledge the times when you're less than okay. It's easy to worry about those around you, but remember to look after yourself too.

Photos by the wonderful ed2too