Do you feel like an imposter?

A few days ago, I saw this tweet:

Remember at school when you would press 'demo' on the electric piano and pretend you were really playing it? Well that's what adulthood is but all the time and in every situation

— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) February 12, 2020

I don't think anyone has been able to sum up adulthood better.

Adulthood is a weird thing.

I remember being 12 years old, and seeing older girls flit about in their teens and early twenties. They had jobs, houses, they were in relationships - I remember thinking "wow, they really have everything together."

I definitely wasn't someone that wanted to grow up, but I was always reassured in the knowledge that when I got to that stage, I too would have everything together. Right? For some reason, I thought that once I reached a certain age, my adult mind would suddenly just click into action. I'd suddenly understand taxes, mortgages, the inner workings of the government. I thought I'd know my career path and what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. If you can sense a 'however' coming, you would be right.

The years came and went, but still - nothing.

Of course, I learnt a lot; you don't get from 12 to your twenties without life throwing a few lessons your way.  But I still didn't really know what I was doing.

Even though looking at me from the outside, you'd think I was putting on a fairly good show (thank you drama GCSE). And I guess I can't be alone in that. When someone at work asks me my opinion on something I'm definitely not qualified to answer, you can bet I'll still give it a good shot. But moments like that make me wonder if I'm alone in winging it; does anyone really have a clue?

It's weird how much time we spend worrying about whether we're good enough. Rather than the focus being on what we have achieved, our thoughts center on what we haven't. Maybe it's time to change that.

To be honest, self-doubt is something I'm probably never going to rid my mind of. But I can seek reassurance in that most of us are in this boat; whilst it might be prone to leaks and have a tendency to veer off course, a lifetime of smooth sailing would be boring wouldn't it?

Have you experienced imposter syndrome?

Photos by the lovely @szeyuin