Time isn't real, but you are

Time isn’t real. It’s like my own personal existential crisis laced mantra but recently it’s begun to feel painfully true. You’d think I’d be used to that feeling by now; after all, mine (and maybe your) sense of time and space has been warped beyond comprehension since March 2020. And yet, the fact I was in a hotel bar just a few days ago clinking in yet another new year still managed to jut me in the ribs as a champagne flavoured shock. 

Why? I can never quite put my finger on it. It’s not as if the past 365 days have flitted by without memory or meaning. So much has happened and yet I’m pulled in by the same kind of sadness

I feel on my birthday; it’s warm, hopeful, it’s nostalgic and bittersweet. The overwhelming tidal wave

of another year gone by quickly replaced by another as if it had been there all along. A relentlessness that’s both full of what could have been but also of promise. *Sigh*

It’s supposed to be a shining symbolic beacon, newness and reinvention. Thankfully, most of the ‘new year, new me’ rhetoric has fizzled out, but the remnants still very much linger in various shapes or forms, which isn’t in of itself a bad thing. My skepticism towards this drive for change has similarly waned over the years, but I’m still a stickler for needing the reason behind it. In other words, not changing because we’ve completed another trip around the sun, but because we want to. 

And what about the changes we’ve collected without even realising it? The ones we didn’t need diet plans or resolutions for. While the places we find ourselves in on 1 January may feel painfully the same, we are not. We’ve been heartbroken, we’ve been head over heels, we’ve discovered parts of ourselves we’re trying to understand and come to terms with. Even if time isn’t real, the way we have become different people - not better or worse - is a poignant reminder that we very much are. 

Happy 2023, I hope you’re keeping well and staying safe - I promise my next post will be more upbeat, maybe.

Photos by the incredible PortraitsByRita 

xxx

Back to the future

Hey, happy Saturday. How are you? 

It’s strange to think we’re halfway into the first month of 2021 and yet little feels different - almost like when you grow another year older and someone asks you how it feels to be X years old. “Pretty much the same” you say with a shrug, wondering when adulthood will kick in and you’ll finally have a clue what you’re doing with your life. Hopefully next year you think, fingers tightly crossed, prosecco in the other hand. 

The lingering feeling of the new year has seeped into these first couple of weeks, and I’ve been picking

at the remains of Christmas chocolate and going through the lockdown 3.0 initiation i.e. Bridgerton, Drag Race and avoiding the news at all costs.

Anyway, the above shots were taken what feels like a lifetime ago. Graphic t’s and black jeans are one of those outfits I feel most at home in, and this ensemble is no different. It makes me feel like I’m the slightly edgier sidekick in an indie movie and I am here for it. Do you have an outfit that you feel most at home in?

I hope your year is off to a flying start, and if you need some Jan inspo, feel free to have a read of this post from last year. 

Sending love, and stay safe xxx

photos by the fab Martin J Sylvester

 

Starting again

January? More like Janu-scary. I'm currently sat, bewildered, in front of my laptop, wondering how on earth we have completed yet another 12 months only to circle all the way back around to the season of #healthkicks and #newstarts. 

It's funny just how symbolic the 1st of January has become in acting as a 'reset' button. In the past I have certainly been guilty of feeling skeptical of this 'clean slate' mentality, particularly as it technically just another 24 hour slot, if only with a different digit on its timestamp.

Now, however, I am starting to see the appeal; a source of motivation, a reason to try new things and an excuse to put plans into action.

The only issue is where the 'new year new me' mentality is concerned, it's very easy to get to February, feel disappointed, and write off the remaining ten months.  Despite all the overlooked boxes you've already ticked and exciting excursions you had in mind, you wish the end of the year away to return to ""page 1 of 365"". And you've got a while to wait.

So in the mean time, it might be worth trying to look at things in a slightly different way. (I know this is starting to sound the landing page for a free motivational e-book you accidentally clicked on, but please bear with.) Rather than eagerly waiting for the 1st of Jan for the chance to start afresh, why not just see 00:01 as an opportunity to completely reset ? 

Even if you have had a really bad day, is it worth getting bogged down in the mentality that 'it just isn't your year'? Whether you spilled an overpriced cup of coffee on the train or cc'ed that email that should have been bcc'ed (the worst), six hours with your head on the pillow can be all that's necessary to forget about it and remember that when you've finished scrolling through Instagram, you've got another 24 hours to make up for it.

What I'm trying to say is that you really don't need an excuse to go out and do what you want to do. You don't have to compartmentalise your life or your achievements or wait until your X years old to do Y and Z. You can literally do it at the start of every morning when your alarm clock go off. Give or take a few minute for snooze time, of course. 

Have you got anything planned for 2019?

xxx

photos by the fab Alexander Ward

New Years Look?

Always one to get involved in a Style Challenge, when Weddington Way contacted me to accessorise a New Years look, I could not refuse..

Renound for formal and elegant gowns and as their name suggests, Weddington Way are primarily known for wedding and bridesmaid outfits, however, who's to say you couldn't wear one of their beauties for entering the New Year?

From the new collection of bridesmaid dresses, I picked this pretty grey toned one, and have come up with two accessory options..

First, a champagne inspired look..

Jimmy Choo pumps / Forever New clutch, $41 / Gold jewelry / Astley Clarke diamond jewelry, $860 / Dolce Gabbana red lipstick / Chanel fragrance / NARS Cosmetics nail polish / Charbonnel et walker truffle, $7.03 / European lighting / LSA International drinkware, $39 / 3 piece wall art / Eliot Raffít christmas tree ornament / Metal wall art

Then a look that's a bit more vampy..

Giuseppe Zanotti black pointed-toe pumps, $550 / ALDO black clutch / Erickson Beamon chain jewelry / Maison Martin Margiela cuff jewelry / Givenchy jewelry, $26 / Pieces black jewelry, $12 / Dana Rebecca Designs white gold diamond earrings / Dent, $34 / Charlotte Russe ribbon headband / Glitter cosmetic / NARS Cosmetics cherry red lipstick, $38 / Chanel eau de perfume, $150 / Nars cosmetic / By lassen, $18 / Riedel vintage champagne glasses

Which one would you go for?

Also hope you're all having amazing festive seasons and Santa brings everything you want :)

xxx

don't just dream in your sleep, it's just lazy

top, jeans, bag - Primark
scarf - Christmas fair

boots - ebay

I promise, promise, promise my next outfit post won't have this scarf in but it makes me feel festive and I feel I can't get away with it past January. On that note, happy new year to everyone and I hope your December 31st's and January 1st's were alcohol and happiness filled, rather than with hangovers.
Resolutions are something I've never really thought about, but I do hope this year brings the end to my time at sixth form as well as hopefully some actual-proper-serious decision making. However, if another magazine tells me that the 'new year' means a 'new me' I may accidentally let it fall in to the shredder.

Some inspiration to channel those fashionable juices c/o Tumblr: